Clint's been studying to take the PMP (project management professional) certification test for the last 9 months. At first, it wasn't too bad....a study group here and there online...it didn't really interfere with life too much. The last few months, however, have been completely and utterly devoted to taking and passing this test. He worked 10-12 hour days, saw us for a few minutes (usually right before putting the kids to bed) and then studied for 2 hours before bed. Saturdays were spent studying as well. It definitely took a toll on the family and marriage, as well as work and church calling. Life was studying for this exam. We fasted and prayed and fasted and prayed that he could pass this exam so that we could move on with life (and open up more career opportunities).
The exam was last Saturday. He did not pass. We are both devastated. All of that time, effort, money and sacrifice for nothing. To me, this is a trial that I have not learned anything from (yet!). I just find myself getting more bitter and angry with life. I don't feel like I grew at all, in fact, I think I grew worse! I'm hoping I will understand why it turned out this way someday :) And I'm hoping I can become a happier person soon.
So, the dilemma becomes...does he study and study and study some more and retake it in a month or 2? (He can retake it twice before June). Or, does he throw in the towel and we cut our losses and we move on with our lives before we are both completely exhausted and defeated?
I know each and every one of our prayers are heard, but sometimes it just plain stinks that they aren't answered the way we want them to be (especially when it is a righteous desire).
Even though our big prayer was not answered, I did have 2 other prayers answered this week, which increased my faith that they are getting through :)
Jack lost his baseball mitt last week and we looked EVERYWHERE. We thought for sure that it was a goner. Not so. I found it buried deep in our ball bin in the garage last night. Hooray!
We hiked with friends yesterday. Lindsey took off running up ahead with a friend and took a turn at a fork before we could catch up. We had no idea which way they went. A friend and I took opposite trails for a bit and then came back thinking the other one had found the girls. Not so. We got really scared then. We took our backpacks (holding the babies) off our backs and booked it in separate directions. After running hard core for 5 minutes (except for a brief break for a desperate prayer)and screaming at the top of my lungs, I heard a faint "mommy!" Still another minute or two went by before I came upon them. Scary! The worst part was that there was no cell coverage, so I couldn't even let Quinae know I had found the girls. She ended up running for a LONG time! It didn't really sink in until last night how lucky we were and how differently the day could have turned out. I am so thankful this prayer was answered so quickly.
So, I will keep praying and praying and praying (even though not all my prayers are answered as quickly or exactly as I have asked)
Ooh I love this man.
Ooh, it's a good thing the child in the middle is so cute :)
The exam was last Saturday. He did not pass. We are both devastated. All of that time, effort, money and sacrifice for nothing. To me, this is a trial that I have not learned anything from (yet!). I just find myself getting more bitter and angry with life. I don't feel like I grew at all, in fact, I think I grew worse! I'm hoping I will understand why it turned out this way someday :) And I'm hoping I can become a happier person soon.
So, the dilemma becomes...does he study and study and study some more and retake it in a month or 2? (He can retake it twice before June). Or, does he throw in the towel and we cut our losses and we move on with our lives before we are both completely exhausted and defeated?
I know each and every one of our prayers are heard, but sometimes it just plain stinks that they aren't answered the way we want them to be (especially when it is a righteous desire).
Even though our big prayer was not answered, I did have 2 other prayers answered this week, which increased my faith that they are getting through :)
Jack lost his baseball mitt last week and we looked EVERYWHERE. We thought for sure that it was a goner. Not so. I found it buried deep in our ball bin in the garage last night. Hooray!
We hiked with friends yesterday. Lindsey took off running up ahead with a friend and took a turn at a fork before we could catch up. We had no idea which way they went. A friend and I took opposite trails for a bit and then came back thinking the other one had found the girls. Not so. We got really scared then. We took our backpacks (holding the babies) off our backs and booked it in separate directions. After running hard core for 5 minutes (except for a brief break for a desperate prayer)and screaming at the top of my lungs, I heard a faint "mommy!" Still another minute or two went by before I came upon them. Scary! The worst part was that there was no cell coverage, so I couldn't even let Quinae know I had found the girls. She ended up running for a LONG time! It didn't really sink in until last night how lucky we were and how differently the day could have turned out. I am so thankful this prayer was answered so quickly.
So, I will keep praying and praying and praying (even though not all my prayers are answered as quickly or exactly as I have asked)
Ooh I love this man.
Ooh, it's a good thing the child in the middle is so cute :)
6 comments:
Kacey that is really, really tough. I love the scripture in Isaiah 55 that says that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He definitely knows all. This reminds me of when Kara's husband was in flight school for the Air Force (which was hard to get accepted) training to be a pilot. It's what he thought he always wanted. We prayed continually for him during this process and fasted. He did the same and went to the temple, etc. He made it until the last couple of weeks and then it was over. Still not quite sure why, but things are good and we trust in the Lord (Provers 3:5-6). You have a beautiful family and you and Clint are a great couple. You'll know what's best to do. Miss you!
Oh kacey I'm so sorry, I know how you feel! When Kev took his boards he studied for months on end and when he didn't do as well as he needed we had to pray and fast and rethink his career and it's so hard! It's so hard to know whether it's best to retake it soon since he has already studied so much and now he may know better what the test is like, or if it's just better to move on. I have heard from several people that it's okay to take a test twice but after that chances of passing go down, but I've also had a few friends who have had to take the bar exam at least three times until they passed. Best of luck to you guys, we will keep you in our prayers!!
I am so sorry for this obstacle in your families life right now. I know there aren't words to make it all better, but know you are in our thoughts. I love that you have looked for the positive and those prayer stories are great. Losing Lindsay gave me extreme panic for you guys!!! Hang in there...you will look back and understand in time. :(
I think you should try just one more time. I'll try to help wherever I can, and I'm sure others will do the same. Just one more try, and then move on. If it doesn't happen, you'll know you did everything you could.
Kacey, Thanks for sharing such a hard thing. First, I am SO grateful you found your little Princess... that is my worst nightmare! Second, we too have faced disappointments & setbacks in Bart's career. One of them, I saw a definite purpose in.. but the second one we faced was just plain hard. I think those setbacks just give us more compassion towards others who face similar challenges and make us "stronger" people. With prayer, you will know which path to take. Keep up your good spirits.... love ya!
kace, I am so so so sorry that things have been so hard-you guys have been thru a lot. I hope someday that you will get an answer as wto why you had to have this happen. I love that even though you admitted so honestly how hard this is, you are still you and ended on such a positive note. you are amazing and i know you may not feel like it right now-you really are! I miss you like crazy and think of you often. love your guts!
Post a Comment